Truth part 2

After hearing a few comments about my post on truth, I feel like I need to follow up.  Hey, if movies can have sequels then so can I.  Someone said something that was actually a concern for me while I was writing it.  I had it on my mind while I talked about feeling open to answer the question, "how are you?"

There is a lot of concern surrounding the issue of answering the question "how are you?" openly.  If you answer negatively, you appear to be a negative person.  If you always have a bad word ... people will tag you as someone they feel obligated to address. People have come to expect a patent answer.  I think it's important to be able to read people.  Is that person being polite or are they really asking?  No one wants to be the gloomy Gus.  You don't want people to become fearful of asking you that question.  The grocery store may not be the place to start listing off every ailment under the sun.

Sometimes, it is very appropriate to answer, "fine thank you."  Not everyone is in the same place as you at the same time.  Perhaps joyful news would not be appropriate at the time ... perhaps it's not the time to share something.

My point is ... yes, I have a point.  My point is to be available to be used in someone's life.  You never know when you might be used to help someone else.  Perhaps your eye contact or body language has made someone feel that they could open up to you.  Perhaps a kind word was offered at just the right time when someone needed it.  What an honour to be chosen to share something with.

So often I answer with "fine thank you" or even on a particularly outgoing morning, "I'm great thanks!" .  Often I really am doing well!  I am encouraged by my friends, Tee's progress, JJ's accomplishments and a gentle hug by Matthew.  However, there are times I have searched for someone to look in my eyes and take the time.  You just never know who that right person is that understands and can speak the words you needed to hear.  Sometimes, it's really not someone you would have thought of.  Sometimes, a truth you are facing is best met with someone who has been through it, someone who understands it or someone who just happens to have the heart you were looking for.


Maybe there should be two different phrases in the English language for "how are you" ... two phrases that mean the same thing.  Both acceptable in society, but each offering the level of commitment we are investing into the question. 

I'm going to rat some people out right now ...


I'm an optimistic person.  I'd say I have a pretty good life.  There are definitely things I would change, but I like to fancy myself Wonder Woman (thank you Lauren Graham).  Just kidding ... we all have our days.  We all have our struggles.  Here is an example of what I'm talking about ....


One Sunday morning I slipped into church alone.  Tee had been struggling so much and I hated that I was going alone.  The music and my tears seem to form an alliance that would not let me hide the sadness I was feeling.  A lady (hint: she makes really good brownies) came into my row, gave me a hug and sat with me.  She provided the opportunity for me to share.  At that time, I didn't feel the need to talk.  I felt the need to have someone sit beside me.  A tender heart does what it's called to do.


Again, another lady that I don't know very well.  I know enough about her to think she's really kind and gentle.  She felt in her heart that she should pray for me one day.  We ran into each other a week later and she felt compelled to ask out of curiosity.  I felt open to tell her that it had been a very difficult time when she had thought of me.  It really touched me.  She gave me the invitation to call her anytime.  I believe that I could do that.


So, with that being said, I guess it is okay to answer, "fine thank you".