Education is for everyone!

I like blogs!  Where else can you be invited to learn about post traumatic stress syndrome, how to make Kefir (or what it is for that matter) or that you can take a very plain light fixture and make it beautiful by painting it? .... and all while keeping an ear to when "quiet time" is over.  It is inspiring and educating.  I have been inspired to learn how to sew and I have been educated in what it's like to live with a disorder called EDS.  I do hope that my blog can inspire and educate as well.  

Today I'd like to inspire and educate people about Autism.  Whether this affects you for the 5 minutes it takes to read it or helps you in your own life, I hope it can bring some awareness.  Children with autism are amazing.  They don't lie or cheat and they are passionate and organized.  They are super cool people.

10 Things Every Child With Autism Wishes You Knew

  

1. I am first and foremost a Child.  I have Autism.  I am not "primarily" autistic.

 You do not want to be known as "fat", "short" or "shy" which is the first thing lots of people see.  So, please don't label me as just "autistic".

2. My sensory perceptions are disordered.

Everyday sounds, sights, smells and such can be painful for me.  I'm not trying to act out or be withdrawn, I'm trying to protect myself.

3. Please distinguish between "I can't" and "I won't"

It's not that I don't listen to instructions.  It's that I don't understand you!  Please get my attention and speak clearly to me.

4. I interpret language literally.

I don't get hidden meanings.  Say what you mean.  If you say it's raining cats and dogs I will look outside for cats and dogs falling from the sky.

5. Please be patient with my limited vocabulary.

Sometimes I can't find the right words to express myself so please watch for withdrawal or body language that tells you something is wrong.  I also might talk a lot about stuff, but that is stuff I have memorized because I know I'm supposed to talk.

6. I am visually oriented.

Show me how to do something instead of just telling me.  And please tell me lots of times!

7. Focus on what I can do rather than what I can't do.

There is more than one right way to do things.  Please look for my strengths.

8. Help me with social interactions.

I don't know how to read body language or the emotions of other people so please help me learn how to play with other people.

9. Try to identify what triggers my meltdowns.

Tantrums are just as bad for me.  It means one of my senses has gone into overload.  If you can figure out what triggers this they can be avoided.

10. If you are a family member, please love me unconditionally.

I can't do this without your help.  You didn't meet all your parent's expectation either!  I promise you - I'm worth it!

I hope this helps you understand Autism a little better.  I'd be happy to answer any questions or hear about your stories of ASD.

*This is a very brief overview  from a book I read by Ellen Notbohm.  If you'd like to borrow it just let me know.

 

4 Dickey birds in a nest

Hard to believe, but we were all toddlers once.  Not as hard picturing Tee as a toddler since her skinny limbs, pot belly and toddling run are still characteristic of a wee one.  Doesn't seem that long ago that JJ was a toddler until I look at the pictures and see how much she's changed over the past few years.  I can picture myself as a toddler because, although I'm a middle child, my parents still took lots of pictures of me.  Now Matthew, I have only seen a handful of pictures of him at such a young age.  Although he insists he is always 30 + JJ, he is going to be 35 soon.  Toddlerhood was a long time ago for him!  I found some old pictures of all of us when we were in the terrible ... oh, I mean awesome 2's.

Matthew sporting a super awesome hat

Lisa - Don't be fooled by the innocent face

JJ

 

 

Tee

Well, as Tee and JJ approach the ages 3 and 5 we are definately heading out of toddlerhood.  I will miss the chubby cheek and the bop bop bop as they run down the hall, but I'm excited about who they are both turning into.  Unique, beautiful and sweet little girls.  As far as how Matthew and I turned, that's still in question.

 

Oh the things we do to our kids

So, this is what we did to JJ when she was 5 weeks old.

"This hat is stupid.  I totally wanted a crown."

"Well, then I said to the guy ..."

"I'm pretty sure I'm not a vegetable"

"And I gave myself a big hug and said everything is going to be alright"

"peek-a-boo?  Exactly what am I hiding from?"

Love Rock

Out behind my parent's house sits the "love rock".  A beautiful symbol of love and belonging ... or a giant rock that some very silly people wrote their names on.  Regardless of how it's viewed, it's a very beautiful place.    Matthew and I got married behind my parent's house and this rock made it in a few photos.  I have some really good memories of hanging out back there.  There is a bench beside the rock that I remember nursing Tee in.  Here's an early memory of the rock before we had our own babes.  Linds and Hail, this one's for you.

 This is one thing living in the city doesn't offer my kids ... no room for love rocks :( But what do I have room for.  Love pebbles.  Maybe I can have stepping stones outside that have the names of people I love.  Love pebbles just doesn't have the same ring ... although, Tee really does remind me of Pebbles Flinstone.  We'll see.  I saw some really cool stepping stones that had people's names engraved in them.  They looked super cool.  Until then I'll have to keep the names of the people I love stamped in my heart.

Creative outlets

I am continuously learning about people and being a person myself, I am continuously learning about myself.  Did that sentance make sense?  Anyways, One thing I've been learning is that people need an outlet for expressing themselves.  Some people stand out in a crowd because they're outlet is really good.  Like my sister ... she's a really good piano player and plays at church all the time. For myself, I think God gave me kids because my outlets certainly are geared towards little girls.  Hmm ... or maybe it's because I have little girls.  Well, you definately won't be seeing me playing the piano at church any time soon.

For some people their outlet could be sports, music, writing, art ... the list is endless.  So, what is my outlet?  Well, I don't think any one thing stands out except that I like to create.

I didn't really know that about myself until recently.  I should have figured it out earlier since I often tell Matthew that I NEED to create something.  I almost didn't care what it was.  I just needed to put my soul into something.  When I was a kid I loved crafts.  I remember making my mom a card and being so upset because it fell into the soapy kitchen sink.  I thought it was ruined, but my mom pulled it out and said it was alright.  Wow, did JJ sure get this from me.  She creates non-stop!  I also remember my mom was sick when I was about 7.  I had to leave because I was a flowergirl in a wedding and had to go to a fitting with all the grown ups.  I didn't want to leave my mom and she convinced me to go by telling me that when I got back we could construct a nurse's hat for me to wear.  I was very happy about that. Hmmm ... wonder why I never did become a nurse?  Apparently, creating has been an outlet for me for a long time.

I wouldn't say that anything I make is exceptionally good.  It is certainly fun and fills something inside me.  I made these dresses this weekend and I told Mattthew that I wasn't very excited about them, but that I was more excited that I made them.  If I had bought them at the store it wouldn't be that thrilling, but designing a dress and just figuring it out on my own was exciting!  Who knows if they'll wear them much, but I sure had an experience making them. 

I did it all wrong ... but that's okay

One thing I love to do is make the girl's rooms look nice.  I like to make them things to put on their walls and enjoying trying to co-ordinate things on a budget.  Part of the fun is piecing things together and making something look special and unique while not breaking the bank.  I've learned over the past few weeks that I have done Tee's room all wrong.

I've been researching and have found out that her room really isn't suitable for her .... I like making things girlie and pretty and as much as I like to do what I think would be nice ... I have to look at what's best for her.   So, .... I get to redecorate!!  One of the joys within the craziness of this past month.

So, how do you decorate a room for an Autistic child?  I'm becoming somewhat of an expert in this area.  Tee can't tell us what she wants so there is a bit of my input in it .... but I think she's going to love it!

1. Take down those big balls over her crib!  Too much distraction and stimuli.
2. Take down all the nick nacs I have made her
3. Put toys in containers so they can be out of sight, but don't have a lid on it.  Any suggestions on where to get something like this would be appreciated.  Wish Papa was still alive to make her something special like he did for me.  No lid for easy access and no little bodies trapped inside boxes.
4. Have nice thick carpet.  Check!  Yes.  We got one right! Okay, the previous owners got one right.
5. Paint colours in a soothing/relaxing colour.  It's suggested to paint them in the colour of their security blanket.  That would make the wall a VERY bright pink.  Perhaps a softer pink would work.  Thinking about a nice green too.
6. Create a "calming corner".  We are doing this by purchasing her a soft foam bean bag chair.  Can hardly wait for it to arrive.  
7. Oil the door hinges.  They are too loud.  Especially if you check on them a lot at night .. yes, that would be us.
8. Thick curtains to make it dark ... perhaps she just inherited this from her vampire like mother

Now I don't know how long until we can paint Tee's room since she will probably have to leave for awhile.  Any takers?  I will post before and after pics as soon as we are finished.  I know change will be hard for her, but I really think this will be a benefit in the long run for the whole family. 

Now the question is .... can I redecorate just one girl's room?  That just wouldn't be fair.  Perhaps there's some new colours coming JJ's way too.??

Super Cool person of the week

This week's super cool person is ..... Andrea.  I've known Andrea for .. huh? 4 years I guess.  From the moment we met I felt like we had been friends forever.  She is so easy to be around ... and funny.  Andrea is always willing to help.  She teaches JJ's class sometimes and even when my daughter peed on her she kept a good attitude. "Ummm, you're peeing on me" ... JJ."Oh, that's okay"  ....

When we first started going to our church Andrea and her husband emerged quickly as people we wanted to be around.  Thanks for being super cool Andrea!

Fear ... the opposite of faith

I would say that I'm a pretty optimistic person.  I tend to look at the glass as half full .. unless I'm tired ;)  I think JJ has gotten this from me.   She stayed home from school one day last week because she wasn't feeling well.  She told me she was "a little great ... when you feel a little great you stay home from school.  When you feel really great you go to school".  Talk about a good attitude despite being sick.

Being an optimistic person, these past few weeks have been interesting for me.  I've been dealing a lot with fear.  I feel like a lot of things have been thrown my way and I was starting to feel like I was sinking.  I was beginning to feel fearful.  Things like fear don't disappear overnight, but I'm slowly working it out.  I found myself talking to people normally on the outside while thinking on the inside about all the terrible things that could happen.  

I was talking to my mom one night and she told me that the opposite of faith is fear.  I have always considered myself a person who has a lot of faith.   Despite ups and downs we have always felt so blessed.  Is it possible to experience faith and fear at the same time?  I think it's normal to be fearful of things, but I don't think it should consume our lives.  God taught us not to live in fear, but to trust in Him.  It's very confusing to experience fear and faith at the same time.  We know that bad things can happen to us, but God promises to never leave us ... even when we experience fear.


In some ways my life is turning out exactly how I dreamed it would, but in other ways it's not turning out how I planned it.  When several things pile up it's hard to think clearly anymore.  I'm sure lots of you have experienced this at some point in your life.  How am I dealing with this?  Well,  I'm surrounding myself with positive things and trying to get rid of negative things being thrown my way.  I'm choosing to talk.  I'm choosing to sing.  I'm choosing to believe that God is in control .  I can't believe how much better I feel when I focus on the things that I know to be true and not on the things that could happen.  I am a blessed woman. 

Kids say (and do) the darndest things

Okay, I know I said we shouldn't "one up" eachother.  I still stand behind that blog, but my kids say and do the funniest things.  I'm sure you feel the same way about your kids.

It's amazing how tired. frustrated and overwhelmed we can get as parents ... but then they do something.  Something that makes you burst out laughing or makes you want to cry because of it's extreme "preciousness" (it's my blog so I can make up words) ... Here is a good example.

Why oh why did she HAVE to dump half a box of cheerios on her bedroom carpet?  ... But then something like this happens ...

 or this ...

Or this ...

Perhaps these moments are God's way of bringing light and perspective into such an awesome task of raising children.  He certainly made them cute, funny and adorable.  I feel like everyday I burst out laughing at something one of the girls did or said.  JJ's comments and perspectives have extreme preciousness.  I almost died when she used some of the things she learned in math at school to teach me about male anatomy.  I also wanted to laugh my head off when Matthew snuck some french fries into the house when he got home late from work one night.  JJ merrily said her good nights and went to bed.  Tee on the other hand sat at the kitchen table and patiently waited for what Matthew had hidden really well.  Kids are awesome.  They can be exhausting and overwhelming, but they delight my heart in a million ways.

So, what do the kids in your life do or say that bring you joy?  I'd love to hear you brag a little bit about your little ones.

Well, I'm pretty happy right now.  I've finally got a rainy day.  It's a perfect rainy day too.  JJ is home from school singing and making crafts, it's Friday, the weather is warming up a bit and Tee is out cold curled up like an adorable little baby monkey.  To top it off I keep forgetting that Matthew gets off work 30 mins early on Fridays.

It's the perfect end to an emotional week.  I like these kind of days ... especially when I know Matthew will be with us the next two days.  Since the ice is pretty much melted I decided to take my girls for a little walk.  Now don't laugh, but we went for a walk to look at a fake deer that someone has on their lawn .. it was pretty cool, but I think they were more impressed with a massive snowpile in the center of the court.  We lead a pretty exciting life over here at the Dickey's.

The cool thing about kids is that they like the little things.  I've found that when we try to plan something exciting or big it doesn't always turn out to be great for them ... or us either.  Sometimes the best playdate are the ones where someone just shows up.  Sometimes the best evenings are the ones where we don't do anything and sometimes the best meals are the ones just thrown together.    I think the common factor with any good time is that everyone is content. 

I think that's probably more important than keeping my kids busy and trying to experience everything.  I think we've learned over the past year that we won't be doing a lot of exciting things for awhile.  We have to decline a lot of things because of situations we can't control.  JJ said something this morning that warmed my heart.  She said ... "I like Ohana".  I asked her what it meant and she said, "nobody gets left behind" I'm very happy that she feels that way. 

Spreading the love

Here are some nameplates that Matthew and I made.  Now, Matthew helped with the words, but he certainly didn't help with any of the creative parts.  We have a deal in this house ... I don't have to play lego if he doesn't have to do crafts.  So far I like the deal.

This one is for JJ.

This one is for Tee

 

 Here are a few more that I have made.  If you would like one I can add any phrase or name that you would like.  $20.