Tee and I have spent months perfecting our daily independant walks. It is at the point now where all I have to do is stand by the door with two mini "Teepops". Tee goes and puts her shoes on, politely climbs into her stroller and excitedly opens her little pops with her cubby little fingers. I am then given the gift of a 30 minute walk. What a blessing to have this ... you will understand why if you understand four simple words ... "Muscular Dystrophy" and "flight risk". I'm rather proud of us for being able to do this on our own.
I enjoy meeting people along the way and stopping to talk for a minute. But then you get the comment, "can't she walk?" It's almost like they think she should be old enough to walk on her own so they question why I would have her in a stroller. My first instinct is to explain the situation, but I don't owe a stranger an explanation. It takes a lot to just smile and walk away.
I felt the same way on Saturday. Matthew, JJ and I were excited to walk through the mall to the theatre for her birthday party. We were in typical Dickey style. Three of us in a line. Me with my cane and walking pretty slowly compared to the hurried shoppers. One lady gawked at us as we passed by. I asked Matthew why she was starring and he said that she was probably trying to make it all make sense in her own head. She probably isn't used to seeing a mother with a young child using a cane. Okay, I can understand that. She probably didn't think about how we can see her staring at us.
I guess we question things when they don't make sense to us .... even if we don't know what's going on behind the scenes. A dear friend of mine wrote an article about this. She has started a blog about her experience as she tries to get medical help to understand why she can't lose weight. If you'd like to follow her journey you can read it at www.beautifulbeyondbig.blogspot.com
In the mean time I will continue to do things the way we need to without worrying about what other's think of us. I am open to ideas and suggestion to help us, but if I get a blank stare when I bring up the word "autism" or "flight risk", I'll just know that they don't understand and that's okay. I probably don't understand something about them.
your posts are always so meaningful. It's hard when people stare. I get stares all the time when I am out with Micah because of his "over-exuberance". I just know people are thinking "can't that mother control her kid?I'd be able to do a much better job". But guess what? As hurtful as that is, I know before I HAD kids, I used to think horrible thoughts like that. So, i guess I deserve it!!
ReplyDeleteSince having kids I've learned to be a lot less judgmental. Sometimes I walk into the grocery store and pay for my groceries without barely looking up to greet the cashier, and even knowing how much I am paying for my groceries as I hit the buttons on the debit machine. It's not because I am trying to be rude...that is SO not my style...it's because I'm distracted with a million things on my mind...but I know I must come off as rude sometimes. And so it's lead me to think about the times I think someone else is being inconsiderate or rude. We JUST don't know what is going on in their lives.
As a side note, often when I push the stroller my kids take turns getting a ride in it...that means Alyssa...who is 4 in less than two months...and I could care less if someone questions why I let her sit in it. ;)
the only person we need to worry about their judgement is...OUR FATHER'S!!
ReplyDeletepeople will be people, and therefore make many errors...we all do it...
hold your head high, and carry on...you know why you do the things you do...
hugs today ... and feel good about you and your family!! because you ROCK!!!