This random Monday

My favorite season is Fall.  I've always loved the crisp air and the excitement of routine.  I don't think I realized until recently why I really love fall so much.  I think it's because things usually start in the Fall.  School, programs, the beginning of festivities like Thanksgiving and Christmas.  Things will usually remain the same for the next 10 months.  I know I took a hiatus from "school" for a few years while my kids were babies, but that feeling never left me.  When the calendar turns to September I get that urge to buy a fresh book and new pencils.  A clean slate.  A new beginning.

I don't like change.  I love the feeling of spring coming, but with it comes change.  I know the summer will come and with that is a whole new season.  I don't just mean literally.  I mean a whole new experience comes.  I feel it already.  Change.  Day by day and very quickly, month by month the school year will come to a close.  Our safe little haven will have to change.  It seems like we were in JK like 10 mins ago and now JJ is talking about grade 1?

In a few short weeks we will get word about what school Tee will be going to.  Regardless of what program she is in, come next year she will be busy all day.  My little Dickey birdies will fly from the nest.  Okay, that's a bit dramatic, but having kids in school is such a visible marker of how fast they are growing up.  Know what comes after grade 1?  Grade *gulp* 2!  And after grade 2 ... well, you get the idea.

I can't help but feel like it's the count down to when my life will really change.  Is it really just a matter of time before I can't walk on my own?   I'm scared I'm going to be left behind as my girls experience life and start to explore their own worlds outside of mommy and daddy.  "Daddy, I love you.  Even when I get married and have kids I will always love you.  And Daddy, you'll be their grandpa".  Seriously?  Where has the time gone.  We are no longer talking about Dora and goldfish crackers.  We talk about which character on Full House we want to be and all the relationshp problems in room 19.

I know it's not the first day of school or the last day for that matter, but on this random Monday the tears came as I sent my little girls off on the bus and the "gold bus" (Holly's van).  I really do have the very best kids.  I don't always feel that way.  Especially when Tee has spent the better part of the last few weeks whining.  Being sick hasn't helped anyone much, but hopefully this bug will leave my little buggie alone.  I'd whine too if I wasn't feeling well and couldn't tell anyone about it.

Anyways, I continue on trying to capture some of the moments that will slip by so quickly.  JJ and I purchased a gift for Daddy.  Soon he will be back to work and our time together will be so much shorter.  I can't wait to give him his gift.  I picture lots of family time together.  Of course, that's fantasizing things.  In reality someone will end up crying, but still we try to create family moments.  I can't tell you what it is until JJ gives it to him tonight.  It's hiding in her room and it would be pretty disappointing if one of you got to tell him!  Especially after all the work of trying to get it in our house.  Thanks for getting it the last little bit Aunt Janine. 45 mins until the bus pulls up.  So looking forward to hearing all the happenings from the playground.  I'm sure there will be a little whining and perhaps head banging from Tee, but it all comes as a package and on this random monday, I welcome it.