Hope

Gather around sweet babies.  Mama has a story.

Why is hindsight 20/20?  Seriously ... if I could put as much clarity into my  perception of the future, life would be as lovely as putting on a new pair of glasses for the first time.  I want 20/20 for the future.  Now guys, that's just not going to happen.

I wrote about hope over the past year and I thought it was time to put my money where my mouth is.  It wasn't a lot of money .... just a couple of bucks.  But here it is.

I worry.  From talking to a lot of you, I think I can safely assume that I am not the only one. I worry about Kay running off.  I worry about falling.  I worry about how our schedules will work out.  I worry about losing my license.  I worry about whether or not the meat I had for lunch was bad.

Now, this is when friends come in handy.  I have had the wondeful opportunity to put this into practice this year and with the help of a friend, I have learned that life is going to pass me by if I don't give up the worries and start embracing each day.  When Matthew went back to work I frantically started calling around.  How will I get Kay ready in the morning?  How will I get her off the bus?  What if she has episodes?  If you remember, daily grooming has been somewhat of a nightmere for us.  It's like walking on ice each morning.  It feels like the military should be called in each time we tried to brush her teeth.  Grooming is just painful for her and consequently for the rest of us... perhaps the whole neighbourhood.  What was I to do?  She is stronger than me now with her little baby six pack.

After a few days of calling around and getting nowhere, I tried another option .... prayer.  No, it wasn't really "prayer", it was more of a conscience decision to have hope that God would work things out.  I had tried and I was filled with fear and dread.  I got a plan together and prepared for the best ... or the worst ... ya, it switched back and forth between the two.

I decided that routine and consistancy would be the best.  We had gotten a cd from her teacher that was a recording of her and her classmates during "music and movement" class.  It was an adorable cd that included all her classmates names and voices.  The first time I played it, she ran to the couch and sat like a lady for "circle time".  Score one!

The next thing we needed was a schedule ... for this we needed time.  I started getting her ready earlier so that the mommy "quick quick as a bunny" mode wouldn't cause stress for anyone.  Now, I can't breath the wrong way or speak too loudly, but you know what?  The morning time with my girls is now my favorite time of day.  We take our time.  We sing and Kay does her morning yoga.  I fall in love with her each morning.  Instead of flailing on the ground as her prison guard tortured her by putting mittens on, she brings me her mittens and says, "mitttins".  Awww.  Little bunny.

I'm certainly not naive enough to think that things will always turn out perfectly.  My point is this; in this situation, the worrying was a complete waste of time... pointless and not helpful.  I take from this experience that a lot of situations in life require two things ... action and hope.  You do what you can and you do it the best that you can.  Farther than that, you just gotta hope.  What is hope?  " Hope is the state which promotes the belief in an outcome related to events and circumstances in one's life" (Wikipedia).  To me, hope is the sense of peace I feel when I practice the faith that God is going to take care of us.