We met. We fell in love. We married. We had a baby girl. We had another baby girl. Story short ... this is where we are.

Wednesday, February 6, 2013

I loooooove love nominations

Oh how I love thee.  Let me count the ways .... gag gag.  Get a room already.
 
 
 

I really do love love.  I'm a sucker for things like Valentine's day.  Matthew on the other hand ... he says he likes to show his love every day.  I think that is his romantic way of saying he just plain forgot. He totally forgot our first anniversary.  Before you say, "awwww", I've learned over the years that Matthew is more random than that.  I may not find a bouquet of red roses on the table on valentine's day, but on a random Tuesday, I may go to bed and find chocolate under my pillow or find myself on a horse drawn carriage the day after Christmas.  I have been catching on ... sometimes he'll look at me and I'll run to look under my pillow, only to find the drool stain left from the night before.

I was talking to someone awhile ago about their upcoming "big" anniversary.  Pretty much longer than I've been alive.  They were making exciting plans and I can't help but think, "way to go!".   Successful marriages are certainly something to celebrate.  Not only just "making it work", but seeing couples still in love after 30 years.  Love comes in so many different packages.  We love our mommies and daddies.  We love our friends. We love our chocolate covered almonds.  And no one can describe the love you feel for your babies.  Then there is that heart pounding, hands sweating, I-sound-like-an-idiot kind of love.  Oh ... but how fast that turns into, did-you-get-the-garbage-out-in-time? kind of love.

Above our bed, we have three signs that say, "faith, hope and love" ... well, since the time Kay was jumping on the bed and smashed into the wall it says, "faith, love and hope" ... I totally need to switch that back.  Anyways, I digress.  valentine's may be a commercial holiday, but what a wonderful time to check out my relationships.  Do I carry faith? hope? love?  I hope so. Oh look, I guess I do have hope :)

This valentine's Day, you are cordially invited to nominate someone to be hit by cupid's arrow.  Now as I was explaining to JJ this morning, cupid will not actually hit you with an arrow.  She was very concerned about getting hit and getting all crazy at school.  I think we might be related.  I want to hear about someone in your life that has the gift of giving the love.  Nominate your sweetheart, your lovely, your friend, your kid, your co-worker.  Tell me why they deserve to be hit by cupid's arrow.  Matthew and I will read through them and pick a winner.

Please do share and tell your friends. Just click on comment.  Click on "comment as"and chose whatever you want ... anonymous if nothing suits you and then hit publish.  If that doesn't work, you know how to reach me.  I will announce the winner and prize on Valentine's Day.

Friday, December 28, 2012

Top quotes from the girls 2012


Top quotes from the girls 2012 - the censored version ;)

 

“R asked me to be his girlfriend.  I said yes.”  … Can I please be there when you tell your Daddy??

 
Upon showing some serious attitude towards me, “don’t worry Mom.  I’m not mad.  I’m just pretending I’m a teenager.” … Oh … bless our home.  I’m going to go through menopause when they are teenagers, aren’t I?

 
JJ, I'll give you a quarter if you pick up the goldfish crackers on Katie's floor.... "no thanks, I already have a lot of money."… I didn’t realize we lived on a gold mine.

 
"I made 4 mistakes on my project!" ... *insert dramatic tears* ... JJ, do you know how many tries it took to create the telephone? *insert apathetic tone and eye roll* "No mom ... I wasn't here. I was in your tummy" … No wonder I feel so old.

 
“Oh Mom!  You’re okay!  I thought you got caught in the lunder!  I thought I didn’t have a mom anymore, but I do!” … I’m glad I survived it, but what’s lunder?

 
“Happy.  Happy.”  Oh … Kay was happy!  I hope it lasts.

 
“When you get to heaven you’ll be able to run.  I can’t wait for you to die!” … I feel so loved.

 
“When the elf dropped off the letter from Santa, did you happen to see if he had curly or straight hair?” … I think it was straight.  “Oh good. I was hoping it would be straight.” … How much time did she spend thinking about elf carrier hair styles?

 
“Hi Jesus.” … I’m not sure if you got the memo Kay, but you can call me mom.

 
“Hi Susan.”  … Not sure if you got the memo, but you can call him Dad.

 
“I feel sick about the dinner you made two days ago.  My head feels sick about it.  My stomach feels sick about it and my heart feels sick about it  … but my heart is still healthy because it was healthy food … oh, and I still love you.” ... I didn’t realize my cooking was so traumatic. At least it didn’t affect her feelings for me.

 
“When will I have an office like Dr. B to practice medicine?” … I think for most doctors it’s sometime after first grade.

 
“I look FANTASTIC today!!” … Sure wish I had the confidence of a 6 year old.

 
While kissing in the kitchen, we hear from her bedroom, “hey Mom?  Are you thinking what I’m thinking?” … Probably not honey.

 
“Mom, Aunt Janine is older than you so she is right” … but she’s wrong!!

 
What sound does a dog make Kay? *insert heavy panting* … Okay, please don’t do that in public.

 
“I can’t see out of my left eye.  Oh wait … it’s closed.” … Okay, that one was me, but I was REALLY tired.

 
Where does your Nana live?  “With my papa.” Hmmm.  I guess she’s right.

 
Upon seeing a billboard with a girl in her underwear, “If that girl was real, she’d be cold.” Yes. Yes, she would.

 
After a knock at the door, Kay walks over to the door, “Papa?” I guess Papa will have to come visit.

 
“My food winner is tuna helper”.  I guess she likes it.

 
After telling Matthew how softly and sweetly Kay said “kiss” and gave me a kiss, I proceed to try it again to show him.  “Kiss Kay??” …. She says, “P OFF!” I’m pretty sure she’s never heard  those words, but sure sounded like that!

 
“Can I have a treat bagel?” … ummm.  In Canada, we call those doughnuts.

 
“At sparks, we can do anything we want … except scream” … Hmmm, I wonder if she got in trouble for screaming?

 
“I can’t understand what that person is saying.  They must be autistic.”  No!  They just speak a different language!

 
“My brain wants to obey my mom and dad, but my body doesn’t.  It’s so hard.” … I can totally understand.

 
“Why was I born in a volcano?” No honey … that’s an ultrasound picture.

 

 

Tuesday, December 4, 2012

Christmas through the years ...

 
Please travel with me as I walk down Christmas lane ...
 
*
*
*
Newly engaged ... mere babies
 
 
 
Newlyweds ...
 
 
 
 
Our first Christmas as a family of three
Yep, that's baby JJ inside my tummy.  We just told everyone.

 
 
 
 
And 1 year later .... here she is.  All Dickey
 

 
 
 
And then we did it again. Baby Kay in the belly ... not our best picture ... I remember loving the meds I got just before Christmas ... I was so pukey.
 
 
 
And there she is ... so worth the nausea ... ohh, look at those little cheeks and pants pulled up to her pits.
 
 
And then I didn't get pregnant ... phew.
 
 
 
Cutest babies in the world ... maybe not babies anymore
 
 
Getting big ... but daddy can still hold them
 
 
To date ...
 
 
And a few favorites along the way ...
 
My little Christmas baby
 
Nice tongue
 
You are the worst parents ever!
 
Our little Christmas Winston Churchhill
 
I can't guide the sleigh .. my eyes are closed

I don't care if it's Christmas ... I am not waking up

Happy baby

Santa ate the cookies ... what does this mean?

Christmas Cherub
 


Wednesday, November 28, 2012

Authority Privilege


Someone gave me a copy of White Privilege by Peggy McIntosh and it really got me thinking.  It’s about the unspoken privileges that white people take for granted.  Now, it is a bit outdated and the demographic is different, but it made me think alot.  Perhaps not the intent of the paper, but this is where it lead me.  I shall call it … hmmm.  Authority Privilege?

Yes.  I have heard many times that it is a white, male dominated world.  The signs around me tell me that it’s probably true, but definitely changing.  Traditionally, when you hear “doctor” you think white male.  When you hear “nurse”, you think white female. However, being a female, I can’t say I’ve felt oppressed by males and my pasty, British skin is a far cry from “black”.  For this reason, I can’t say that I can understand a coloured person’s experience on any level.  Perhaps this is ignorant or how I’ve been conditioned to think as a privileged, white person.  I have very few people of colour in my immediate life and it’s not something I really think about … but that does not mean on any level that the problem does not exist.    For me, it’s not an issue.  That’s my point and I think the point of this paper.  If it’s not an issue for me, then I am guilty of being ignorant to a very prevalent problem.  The concern for me is that one man’s situation is not the same as another’s.  I have seen this many times with the people around me.  What is burdened on someone’s heart is not necessarily burdened on another’s.  There are so many legitimate “causes” to be an advocate for that one has to pick what leans on their heart and do their best to be supportive in another man’s cause.   
I understand all too well what she is saying in this paper, but I must say right off that it is no more my friend’s fault for being born without a disability than it is my fault for being born white.  One does not naturally understand something that has not been their own experience.  For this reason, it is so important to educate each other because I can guarantee that every person who has read this article has experienced suppression on some level … intended or not.   This article taught me about a coloured person’s experience and for that I am grateful and hope to be more sensitive in the future.

Let’s be honest here.   When we meet someone for the first time, our brains are in overload.  There is a lot of subconscious judgement that takes place.  I believe dominance is established within 5 minutes of meeting someone.  I once met a lady who was so threatened by me.  She was studying to be a social worker and because I already had a degree and was working on my masters, she pushed and pushed me into a corner until I admitted to her that her degree would get her farther.  Dominance.   I guess she needed to feel that between us.  I thought it was silly.  I understand now how it feels to be in minority and to feel these unspoken social hierarchies.  I don’t for one minute think that anyone looks at someone in a wheel chair and says or even believes that they are better.  No.  That would be socially unacceptable.  But it’s there.   I did an experiment a few months ago and asked people to be real about the following question, “what do you think when you see someone with a disability or someone who looks different?”  I so appreciated the honesty.  The answers varied from, “I feel more comfortable about my own flaws” to “I’m just glad it’s not me”.  I don’t feel “judged” by people for having a disability and I certainly don't judge others with a disabilty, but I do feel the hierarchy.  When I sit down to talk with someone stronger than me, more educated than me, prettier than me or more outgoing than me, I automatically take the lower position on the totem pole.  And you know what makes it worse?  Someone who officiously tries to help.  Yes, it’s kind and often necessary, but it no less makes the gap of dominance bigger.  You are undoubtedly the winner.  I can’t top that.  Sure, I can try by impressing you with my strength of character, but in my mind, you win.  This thinking is probably wrong, but digress with me.  You have a doctor and a patient.  A doctor is a servant to the people around them, but it is definitely a dominant role.  Even nurses respect the authority of the doctor.  This is just the hierarchy of life.  I see it within the medical field all the time … from the specialists down to the receptionists.  When someone is helping me dress or meeting a need, I can assume that I will be treated with respect, but the person of authority and the person of vulnerability have been assigned very clear roles.

My experience lies in the area of physical disability.  Someone else’s experience might have more severity or lie in a completely different area.  Like someone of colour living in a white man’s world, there are conditions that someone with a disability or illness cannot count on living in an able bodied world.  Again, I point out that I do not blame any able bodied person, but these are things that I have seen my friends, family, acquaintances and strangers take for granted.  Of course, none of these things are a reason for anyone in a minority to have an unfulfilled life.

Being able to get out of a booth or chair at a restaurant

Having a washroom available that they can use

Purchasing items on the bottom shelf at a grocery store         

Wearing shoes properly

Not being starred at … unless their skirt is tucked into their underwear.

Generally assuming that a compliment is merited and not awarded because the standard is lower.

Falling calls for a normal response instead of looks that suggest a poem be written about the tragedy that is their life.

Being able to try clothes on in a change room

The positive feelings of self worth that come from physically helping others.

Choosing  a career based on desire, education and skills.

Choosing recreation based on desire and means.

 
What I need to express is that we should all be servants to each other.  Coloured, white, male, female, able-bodied, or not.  People in places of authority, may it be as a helping friend or a position in society; we all need to be aware of how the other person feels.   This role can change.  In some situations, I feel like the person who is dominant and I too have to be aware of what “rights” that brings to the relationship.  We all have something to bring to the table.  Each of us with our own unique experiences. My message is not so much to the “white” person.  My message is for anyone who has a position of authority whether or not they believe that they are in that position .. earned or unearned.  Parents, doctors, therapists, social workers, teachers, police, bosses, people with wealth, good friends or members of society.  When someone needs you on any level, they are allowing you into a place of vulnerability and there is an unspoken hierarchy.  What I believe to be a place of privilege.  I don’t think it’s a bad thing.  I think it’s something that should be protected.

Thank you to the people who have helped me and my family and who have always treated us with respect.

Saturday, November 24, 2012

Kay, Katie, Katelyn




 
Kay,

I write this for you and I write this for me.  It’s been an interesting year.  We’ve asked a lot of you.  I know you don’t like to learn new things or have things changed on you, but we do it for you.  It’s amazing how much you grow when you start to understand new things.  I can’t believe how much you have grown over this past year.  I’ve seen you go from hardly acknowledging us to looking right in our eyes and saying, “Mama and Dada”.  Please know, that whatever this life offers you, you are an amazing person with the potential to do anything.  Never let anyone tell you less.  You are who God wanted you to be.  Your name means “pure and consecrated to God”.  You are the very best there is.  I sat by your crib last night as you were getting sleepy.  I poured my heart out to you.  I have no idea if you understood a word I was saying, but the way you sat up and listened made me feel so loved.  You warmed my heart as you said, “nite nite nite” and lay down.  I loved hearing the little snores that followed.  You did that.  You made me feel loved.  I hope we can make you feel just as loved. 

~Mama



Wednesday, October 31, 2012

33

One thing I have learned over the past week is that I can be very weird.  Yes.  And nothing can point this out more than spending a few days with your best friend from grade school.  What a wonderful week it has been.  I do point out that just because a friend will do anything for you does NOT mean they CAN do everything for you. We have ended up on the floor laughing on several occasions this week in a failed attempt to get me off the couch.  Yes ... with a visit from an old friend and a birthday, nostalgia has definitely kicked in this week.  But doesn't it every year?  Matthew so lovingly pointed out today that I'm getting smile lines around my eyes.  At least I don't have hair growing out of my ears.  I'm not quite ready for false teeth and depends.

Apart from the grey hairs and memory loss, the thing I will miss most about leaving "32" is not being able to say one of my favorite lines from FRIENDS ... "You're 32 Joe, 32. A reminder I say to myself when I'm not acting my age.  As mentioned this morning, I am now the age Jesus was when he died.  This concerned JJ about whether or not I was going to die.  Her response after I told her I wasn't worried about it today, "Ya, because when you go to heaven your legs will be strong.  You can run and dance!  I can't wait for you to die!!!"

Let's see, so far for my birthday I've been dropped on the floor, told I was getting wrinkles and got a death wish.  I feel so good about myself.

No.  It's been a really great week.  I got an adorable bracelet that says "best mom" and the funnest T-shirt ever from Matthew that says, "On a scale of 1-10, what's your favorite colour in the alphabet?".  If you know anything about me, you will know that I LOVE this shirt because I see every letter/person/date in colour and I cannot be convinced otherwise.  How can a "C" be red when it is obviously yellow.  duh.

How blessed I am to have so many people in my life over the past year.  How blessed I am to have so many people give me candy today.  In the words of JJ, "best day ever".



 

Saturday, August 4, 2012

Little Miss Tootie

Well, little Miss Tootie ...

You are the big 0-4.  How do you feel about your life so far?  I think it's been a pretty good 4 years.  I think back to when you were just a little baby.  That's what mommies do on your birthday.  You were such a good baby.  Except from 6-10pm.  You cried the whole time while Mommy and Daddy took turns rocking you in that old, orange rocking chair.  You've come a long way since then baby!

So, it's been another amazing year little girl.  You started going to school every day.  You just love it now.  You fell in love with Mansura and now with Breyer and I promise you, they fell in love with you too.  It's hard not to fall in love with you.  You learned some new words.  Cookie, Cheese, Mine, Mommy, Daddy, dog, shoe and okay!  You also learned to put your shoes away on the mat when you come home from school!

You still like to scream a lot.  You got very sick in the spring and we couldn't figure out what was wrong with you.  It took weeks and many trips to your family doctor, but we finally got it all sorted out with cream and antibiotics. We can hardly wait for you to be able to talk to us!

You love penguins!  We love watching you do the "penguin shuffle" to Happy Feet.  You've got the moves down girl!  You love playing outside, giggling with your sister, taking baths, singing, looking at books and going for car rides with Daddy to get french fries.

We are so happy with the things you've learned over the year.  You've learned patience.  You've learned how to work with your occupational therapist and your speech therapist.  You've learned to play with other kids and you've learned to put your toys away.  You've even learned your ABCs and how to count to almost 20! This year we need to work on eating dinner at the table and not getting so angry when things don't go the way you want them to.


You've got some big changes coming up as you start kindergarten.  I can hardly wait to put your new dress on you and take your picture as you climb onto the yellow school bus.  Oh the adventures you will have!


We love you so much.  Sometimes, in the morning, we can't stop looking at you as we try to wake you up.  You are so not a morning person .... but you are pretty adorable!  Happy birthday little Tootie.  We wouldn't trade you for anything .... not even a real penguin.


Love
Mom


 
A couple hours old


Enjoying life!