The first time we met you

Tonight when JJ curled up with me to say goodnight, we chatted for a bit about her very quickly approaching birthday. The big 06. Whoa.  Better start looking into retirement homes. Fortunately, 6 years is enough time to forget the "adventure" of her birth and it was fun telling her all about it.  I think her favorite part was when I threw up on Sarah.  My favorite part was the epidural.  I think Matthew's favorite part was the conception.   Oddly enough, this is exactly the time 6 years ago that labour started.  True, she wasn't born for 2 more days ... 40 hours of labour.  This is often my argument when I want some affection from her. "40 hours of labour ... that's why you're going to come over here and let your mama kiss you."  So, 6 years ago we were sitting at Swiss Chalet when the adventure that is JJ began ...   Feels like a lifetime ago.  So ... I would like to invite you to share the story of the first time you met JJ or heard of her birth and what you thought ... or maybe just an early memory.  For some of you, it will be day 1 ... for some it will be recently.  I want to read them to her for her birthday. The other night I came into her room late at night as the tears came down her cheeks and she told me she didn't know what was special about her.  I'd like to show her.

 JJ, the first time I met you, you were flopped on my belly.  I looked at my midwife and asked, "is she mine?"  Misty laughed and said, "yes" ... considering you were still attached to me.  It was hard to believe even though you were the spitting image of your daddy.  I can still remember that feeling of you resting on me.  I held you against me like I was holding onto a football during the Superbowl. I was definitely a new mommy.  You were strong and beautiful and you had a head shaped like a cone.  You looked so much like daddy we thought we should keep you. :)

Here she is ... all 8bs 9 oz of her

We really liked her

then she tried to eat me

Hallelujah

She got a lot cuter when the pain started to go away ... a week later

Looking all Dickey

6 days old at Uncle Aaron's wedding ... youngest guest

No Pressure!

The other day I was working out ... well, not so much "working out" as trying desperately to look as cool as the "biggest losers" as I held onto every one of Bob's words of encouragement.  He's totally talking to me when he looks into the camera, right?  I'm not sure which I like more ... Bobercising or my Nordic Track ... maybe it's not which I like more, but which I loathe less. Dr. T definitely feels the bike is best ... and so it often wins out.  The guy is a genius so I'm thinking he might know a little ... well, maybe.  That's when Matthew stepped in.  As I was fake punching the walls with the best of them, he brought something to my attention.

"You're Dr. T's only patient with Miyoshi, right?

Ummm ... I'm kind of busy here, but ya.

Matthew went on to explain to me that if I'm his only patient and he's sort of the "Big wig" at Mac then how does he know what's going to happen to me.  We got thinking ... now, that's not always a good thing for Matthew and I to do simultaneously, but we did.  Perhaps the Dr. doesn't tell me my future because he's watching me to see what happens.  Matthew pointed out that I might be setting the bar for any future patients he deals with down the road.  I know he has spoken about me at conferences, but I have never thought that much about it.  Ya, so ... no pressure, eh?  In 10 years, a young lady might be coming to him with the same symptoms ... she might be asking all the same questions I'm battling with right now. When will I be in a wheelchair?  Does all this "physio" really make a difference?  How fast does this happen?  Why bother?  What do people see when they see me? *deep sigh* ... I guess it has to be worth something.  Dr. T emailed me a few weeks ago and reminded me of where I would be if I gave up. 

 Where would I be?  I'm not really willing to find out ...


And so I'm off to see him in a week.  Hoping I'm living up to the bar.  Not sure who set the bar.  I never seem to be able to get there, but I won't stop reaching.

My fav ...

So loving the organic coconut oil in my smoothies.  Loving the benefits.

Initiative

"Initiative" has been a key word around here lately.  Why you may ask? ...

Last week I was running around trying to get everyone ready for their day. Okay, "running" might not be the best word.  "Fast" is not a good descriptive word for me.  I was however, trying to do a lot of things at one time.  As JJ was sitting on the couch, three words came out of her cherub-like  mouth that stopped me in my tracks.  Words that were like nails on a chalkboard at that moment... "Where's my breakfast?" .. ohhhhhh.  My response? ...."JJ, are you serious?"

I decided that it was a good time to learn some new vocab.  "JJ, do you know what the word initiative means?"  Of course she had no idea what I was talking about after a few failed attempts to pronounce the word.

What followed was a somewhat humourous and empowering conversation as I tried to explain to her the benefits of taking breakfast into her own control.  I told her  I was here to help and answer questions, but that she needed to "start" the process. To her delight, when she "started the process", she ended up with breakfast a lot sooner than what it would have been if she had waited for me.  She also ended up having some control over what she ate. Not a bad deal ...  She still can't pronounce the word, but since this day, she has taken pride in her "big girlness" and has taken initiative in making her own breakfast.  Supervision is definitely necessary, but she's coming.  She's started making her sister's breakfast too.  It warmed my heart this morning when she got Tee a drink and I saw Tee sipping from the drink in JJ's hand.  She has great little lips.  At this rate, I'm going to be out of a job soon. No ... I'm pretty sure I'm still needed around here.


So ... I'm trying to teach my children about initiative, but where do I fall on the "initiative" scale?  Matthew and I are pretty opposite in a lot of things ... women are from Venus ... so they say.  In daily life, I'm usually the one who initiates things.  I'm the one who wants to go out and do something, clean up or start a new project.  I start it with a flurry ... and then there is my darling husband.  He doesn't like to start many projects, but I have never known a more dedicated man who will stick out anything until the bitter end.  No complaining.  We're like a train.  I'm the engine and he's the caboose .... and what a nice caboose he has ;)


But, what happens when you lose initiative?  What happens when you don't know how to start something ... or what you're supposed to do?  How do you take initiative of your own life when you don't know what you want or how to get it?  What happens when you don't know what the next step is?  How do you "start the process"?


I have no idea what my life is going to look like over the next 6 months.  I don't know what my body is going to allow me to do.  I don't know what opportunities I will have as both my children join the "school age" era.  The original plan is slipping away.  That's okay.  Remember, I'm a train ... I can always find the track.  I'm just not sure where the next stop will be or how to start the engine.  Ah, life does have a funny way of moving forward so maybe I'll just hop on board and see where this train is going.

Super cool person of the week

What?  Two posts in one day?  This is testament to my physical exhaustion and mental awareness as I sit at the computer after a busy day.  Upon looking over my posts, it has become painfully clear to me that I am severely lacking in super coolness.  The super cool person of the week has dwindled to super cool person of the month .... and more recently, super cool person of 2012.  So here you have it ... the super cool person of this week.  This is a tough one.  There has been a lot of super coolness this week among the people I come in contact with on a daily and semi-daily basis.  So, here it is:


Justine Dickey


Justine is my niece.  Now, before you think I'm biased to pick a family member, let me explain.  The first time I met Justine, she was a very young girl with a broken arm.  I was being sized up by a whole clan of Dickeys as Matthew's new girl friend.  I was quickly welcomed into the family which included a very cool little blondie with a great sense of humour.  Justine is no longer the little girl who wore a little white dress and spread rose medals at our wedding.  She's a beautiful young lady with an even crazier sense of humour.  I almost peed my pants when I saw a youtube video with Justine's friends.  They were doing a video project when Justine came bursting out of the bushes shouting, "welcome to Naria!!!"  Again, I must share this warped sense of humour.  Justine makes me laugh every time I see her with her off of the cuff remarks and indescribable dance moves.  Justine, I appreciate you coming to help with our fundraiser this past weekend and I am more than proud to call you my niece.

Truth part 2

After hearing a few comments about my post on truth, I feel like I need to follow up.  Hey, if movies can have sequels then so can I.  Someone said something that was actually a concern for me while I was writing it.  I had it on my mind while I talked about feeling open to answer the question, "how are you?"

There is a lot of concern surrounding the issue of answering the question "how are you?" openly.  If you answer negatively, you appear to be a negative person.  If you always have a bad word ... people will tag you as someone they feel obligated to address. People have come to expect a patent answer.  I think it's important to be able to read people.  Is that person being polite or are they really asking?  No one wants to be the gloomy Gus.  You don't want people to become fearful of asking you that question.  The grocery store may not be the place to start listing off every ailment under the sun.

Sometimes, it is very appropriate to answer, "fine thank you."  Not everyone is in the same place as you at the same time.  Perhaps joyful news would not be appropriate at the time ... perhaps it's not the time to share something.

My point is ... yes, I have a point.  My point is to be available to be used in someone's life.  You never know when you might be used to help someone else.  Perhaps your eye contact or body language has made someone feel that they could open up to you.  Perhaps a kind word was offered at just the right time when someone needed it.  What an honour to be chosen to share something with.

So often I answer with "fine thank you" or even on a particularly outgoing morning, "I'm great thanks!" .  Often I really am doing well!  I am encouraged by my friends, Tee's progress, JJ's accomplishments and a gentle hug by Matthew.  However, there are times I have searched for someone to look in my eyes and take the time.  You just never know who that right person is that understands and can speak the words you needed to hear.  Sometimes, it's really not someone you would have thought of.  Sometimes, a truth you are facing is best met with someone who has been through it, someone who understands it or someone who just happens to have the heart you were looking for.


Maybe there should be two different phrases in the English language for "how are you" ... two phrases that mean the same thing.  Both acceptable in society, but each offering the level of commitment we are investing into the question. 

I'm going to rat some people out right now ...


I'm an optimistic person.  I'd say I have a pretty good life.  There are definitely things I would change, but I like to fancy myself Wonder Woman (thank you Lauren Graham).  Just kidding ... we all have our days.  We all have our struggles.  Here is an example of what I'm talking about ....


One Sunday morning I slipped into church alone.  Tee had been struggling so much and I hated that I was going alone.  The music and my tears seem to form an alliance that would not let me hide the sadness I was feeling.  A lady (hint: she makes really good brownies) came into my row, gave me a hug and sat with me.  She provided the opportunity for me to share.  At that time, I didn't feel the need to talk.  I felt the need to have someone sit beside me.  A tender heart does what it's called to do.


Again, another lady that I don't know very well.  I know enough about her to think she's really kind and gentle.  She felt in her heart that she should pray for me one day.  We ran into each other a week later and she felt compelled to ask out of curiosity.  I felt open to tell her that it had been a very difficult time when she had thought of me.  It really touched me.  She gave me the invitation to call her anytime.  I believe that I could do that.


So, with that being said, I guess it is okay to answer, "fine thank you".

Truth

I was talking to a good friend of mine last week.  We had briefly shared some of the things we were both strugging with while we grocery shopped together minus our children.  What a pleasure to do menial tasks with a friend.  To our surprise, we discovered that neither one of us had everything figured out.  Neither one of us were perfect mothers, wives, friends or even citizens.  Funny, I had aways thought she had things figured out.

What a relief to know I'm not the only one.  I think sometimes it's easy to think that I'm alone.  That everyone else is so .... hmmm ... composed?   I have to share something with you and I don't think you're going to like it .... So, here it is.  I know your little secret.  Now, before you start to worry that I have some kind of super power or that I have broken into your house and read your diary, let me explain.

The more people that I talk with, the more people I seem to know who are struggling with something.  We are all dealing with stuff.  Some people are pretty positive ... some negative.  Some of us like to be more serious and some more wild and free.  Some of us are all those things thrown into one big pot!  But seriously guys, there is some hurt, pain, worry, problem or struggle that you are dealing with amidst the highs and lows of this interesting thing we call life.  Maybe it's a short term thing or something you've been dealing with for a long time.  Does something come to mind when you read this?  Maybe a whole list of things come to mind when you read this. Maybe you don't want to think about that one thing or you have a whole list of things that are about to spill over and you're just hoping someone is there to help you clean up the mess.   Maybe life is perfect and always has been.  I don't know.  It's so easy to skim over people and ignore the depth of the person inside.  How often do we answer someone with a patent answer? ... "fine thank you and how are you?"

Truth ...  I always thought the term, “it’s hard to wrap your mind around it” was figurative, but I’m starting to think it’s more literal.   You have this piece of truth sitting in front of you.  You try to make sense of it, but it gets fuzzy and confusing.  How can this be truth?   Sometimes I've just longed for someone to really ask how I'm doing.  To help me understand the truths that are the exsistance of my life.  Have you ever longed for that?  I certainly don't think life has to be all serious and I don't think you should go around telling everyone your problems.  It's just that .. well, we all have a story.  A lot of that story is often hidden under patent answers, busy schedules, ignorance to others and sometimes fear.  

Often at church, we have a greeting time.  We have a few minutes to shake hands and greet people.  I'm sure many people at our chuch look forward to an exuberant hug and kiss from a special young man who seems to be able to spread love wherever he goes.  Often, I find that time ... I don't know ...  Awkward?  It's like you want to greet everyone around you, but before you have even given someone eye contact, you are looking for the next person.  None of us are merely a hand to shake.  We each deserve eye contact.  An acknowledgement that each of us is a unique person.

What am I saying? I guess I'm asking you, "how are you?" I'm always here to listen to the answer.  Through FB, email, phone .... face to face.   You know how to reach me and if you don't ... you can always ask on here.