OHANA: The 7 year itch

They say that couples tend to reevalute their relationship after 7 years. It's probably earlier these days, but the term "7 year itch" comes from a time period when the average marriage lasted 7 years. It's also the title of a movie from 1955 that starred Marilyn Monroe. 7 years eh?

Matthew and I will be celebrating our 7th anniversary soon. We've joked about the 7 year itch, but it's probably wiser to learn why people get the 7 year itch. Perhaps it's because most couples have had their 2.4 kids and are wondering what comes next. Perhaps the marriage wasn't good from the start and people are starting to want "out". Perhaps people get bored or are searching to understand who they are in each phase of life. I'm not sure the reason or if the number 7 really means anything, but I want to avoid the 4 year itch, 7 year itch or 32 year itch.

Matthew and I have finished all the "bigs" in life. We've married, we've had our kids and bought our first house. So, why stay together? There is nothing big left to experience.

I think the biggest reason I stay married to Matthew is because I want to. I know that sounds kind of redundant, but it's true. There are lots of reason to stay with someone. For the kids, because you're afraid of change, because you're stuck or to keep up an image. I have loved the past 7 years of marriage and I want to stay married to Matthew. The past 7 years hasn't been all roses, but the easiest and best part has been being partnered with Matthew. I love him more now than that sunny June afternoon I told him I wanted to be with him until death do us part.

Now we've discussed the 7 year itch .... what I'd like to understand is the 7 year "I've got two kids, a house to clean and can't seem to find time alone with eachother" itch. Things definately are not the same as when we first got married. Seriously, what did we do with ourselves before we had kids? Seems like we are doing our own thing all day and then when we've got some time at the end of the day our brains are mush and we just want to turn off. It's not for lack of liking eachother, it's just that the honeymoon stage is definately over! The man has seen me give birth to two children. There is not much mystery left. .... Oh ... but is there?

I told Matthew awhile ago that I was looking old and his response surprised me .... "well, you did say you wanted to grow old with me". Can't argue with him there. There is still a mystery ... the mystery of growing old together. I'm starting to see white hairs come out in Matthew's black afro (I do mean afro since he is in desperate need of a hair cut) .... it's so different to see and I think it's cool seeing him change. There are so many more first for us. We just had our first child start school this year, then there will be our first teenager or when one of our beautiful daughters gets married ... or *gulp* becoming ... grandparents. Whatever God has planned for our lives I want to take this journey with my best friend. I'd itch for 7 years just to spend one day with him. Had to throw a little cheese in there.

See how much we've changed in the past 7 years ....